Friday, October 26, 2012

Why I don't do children ~ and 5 reasons why thats ok.

If you are:
Politically Correct
Love Children
Dont' have an open mind
Don't accept that everybody has an opinion
Then step away from the computer and go find a blog about ducks and flowers.....

So there, I've said it, I don't do kids...
Well not that I 'do' them, I just don't really like to be around them.
Gasp, horror I hear you squeal, how dare I not love your darling little Johhny..
Well, I just think its my prerogative and am sick of lying about it.
Isn't blogging about having an honest voice...
Would I have more friends if I screamed, "I love all your children. Please, pick me to babysit."
Maybe, but I'd be a total hypocrite...and coming from a seriously religious family, I know all about hypocrisy, but thats a blog for another time....
So step, away from the daggers ladies and let me explain....

You what, don't like my 10 children??

Sadly, for my almost perfect 21 year old daughter, (she was never allowed to be anything else), it took having a child to realise I had no maternal instincts what so ever.
Which is why there was only ever one!
They told me it would kick in eventually, but, it never did.
That's not to say I wasn't a loving attentive mother, but patience was never part of my parenting, sorry Tayla....
I adored the saying 'children should be seen and not heard...'
I guess that's when I knew I had a teensy weeny anti-child syndrome.
But I wont apologize for country remember....I'm allowed my opinion.

I find it amazing when people come into my house and one of my three cats wanders in and jumps on the couch. I hear the 'eek, cats!', or 'do you mind, I don't really like cats near me', or 'cats give me the creeps'.
Yep, well, you know what, I don't really like your kids but I let them in my house and sometimes I even let them sit on the furniture, and your kids give me the creeps.
But for some reason, I'm still the bad guy.
Does it not register with anyone that maybe I love my cats as much as you love your kids.
But I'm blasé, it doesn't offend me that you don't like cats. I'm a little more open minded than that!

My little family....

I observe the children of today, or 'free range children' as one mother of two unbelievably undisciplined rug-rats told me as her two 'angels' were tearing apart Gloria Jeans one morning....
Aren't they cute she glowed??? 
Sorry, no they aren't and nor did the other 5 or so customers waiting on the coffee while angel one and two throw sugar satchels around the store, tore signs off the counter and proceeded to spill not one but three Babycino's AND expected the staff to keep replacing them!!! 
What ever happened to giving a kid a milkshake???

I'm sure your all familiar with this little 'angel'.

I just worry what our adults of the future will be like if they're taught today that yep, they can have bickies for breaky, run riot when ever it pleases them because they're showing their uniqueness, (please!!), and just be down right grotty, snot nosed, smelly small people.

I got babysitters in when I wanted an evening out, or worked around family and friends to sit so I could get the why now do I have to dine with some inconsiderate parent who thinks it will be fun to take the 4 kids to a restaurant with no consideration for all the other diners...what's with that?

I just 'adored' (NOT) the mother in Woolworths last week with her 3 children under 5 in tow.
She wondered around in some kind of drug faze while angel 1, 2 and 3, helped themselves to chewing chunks out of the broccoli, taking bits out of apples and putting them back, and one whipped out his pride and peed in one of the bins......f***.
When another shopper told her to control her children, she just shrugged...another shopper then too got in on the situation and she the told them both to f*** off and mind their own business....well I was in the marker for broccoli but will pass today!

No, this is not that actual child, but you get my meaning...
But it's ok really.....

1) I love it that you love your kids. Even envious that you have that bond, but please, that you let them destroy your house is your thing, but please control them when they're at mine or don't be upset when I do. 
2) I'm a cat person, not a dog person or a kid person. But I wont be offended if you don't like my cats if you don't mind that I don't want to snog your kids or you dog, fair?
3) I just prefer my furniture without boogers, dribble, vomit, sticky fingers and food smeared on it....
4) I like peace and quiet, I think after 25 years of running hairdressing salons I'm entitled to it. So no, I don't want to hear your child squealing because they want everything they lie their eyes on, or just because they're 'free-range'.
5) Perhaps if children where more seen and not heard, more respectful of others, had WAY less sugar in their diets, then perhaps there would not be so many blogs and websites dedicated to child free living. And believe me, theres a lot of them, I looked, and a lot less diplomatic than me.....

I guess I just ask you to consider....
having a child is a choice, having 5 is your choice, your right, your decision.
As it is mine to choose not to have children around...
Lets just respect each others choices huh!

Trá lovely ladies till (hopefully) next time,
Maria x x x

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